I’ve unfortunately been struggling with writer’s block these past few weeks, so I decided to try and “write what I know” by taking a look around my every day life and seeing if there’s anything that would inspire me to write, and luckily my 401k and Roth IRA were there to give me some inspiration.

I have been working as a freelancer for almost ten months now, so I haven’t been contributing money to my 401k, and I don’t have a company to match my contributions every paycheck. I do try and contribute to my Roth IRA every single month, but I’ve been getting this nagging feeling that I’m falling behind and not saving enough for retirement, even though according to my Fidelity account, that date is far, far away (it says I won’t be able to retire for another 40 years). 

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has the strong urge to say “f*ck it” and spend every penny I have on whatever my heart desires, but alas, the logical part of my brain knows that life is a marathon and not a sprint, which means I really do have 40 more years of this monotony unless I magically win the lottery, or somehow marry rich (without sacrificing my morals, of course). 

I started thinking about writing about a fictional old man who was a week away from retirement, who tragically passes away in a car accident and never gets to use any of his retirement savings, and it made me think about my life. 

What if I die before I can take advantage of all the money I saved?

Ideally, when we think about saving money for retirement, we talk about it with the certainty that we will be employed and alive until we turn 65, but in today’s world, our future seems less and less guaranteed. Companies are laying thousands of people off at a time, and the price of everyday goods are getting more and more expensive. I know it doesn’t help to be so doom and gloom all the time, but it also doesn’t help to ignore reality and pretend like things aren’t getting progressively worse. 

Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to spend money on vacations, perfumes, nice meals, or other vices. I know I don’t need any of these things, but I’m human. Of course I want to treat myself to nice things and enjoy my life as much as I possibly can. How else are you supposed to feel when you feel like sustained happiness is always going to be just out of reach? I like to tell myself that I’m playing the long game, and that by saving more now, I’ll be living an easier life in the future, but it’s hard not to wonder what the point of it all is when everything in our world seems to be heading in a downward trend. 

For now, I’ll just keep saving whenever I can. I guess that means I haven’t completely lost hope in the world yet. Or I just haven’t found the perfect vacation to spend all of my money on. My 30th birthday is next year during the summer. I heard the south of France is nice.